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Today has been hard. One of those legitimate pregnancy days where I have wanted to stick my head in the oven, only I can’t as the bright orange non-organic fish fingers for Elfie’s tea won’t cook properly in the microwave. I was up all night with painful Braxton Hicks, my lower back hurts and the pain now extends down my right leg, I’m being punched from the inside by one baby and have a toddler on the outside who has just discovered biting and am feeling downright miserable. In my rational mind I do know that this will all pass and tomorrow is a new day but I have so much I need to do with my few remaining newborn-free days: feeling like crap was not one of the things on the to-do list. I’d like to thank Peppa Pig for coming into our lives at this time as Elfie is transfixed by that freaky talking snouty thing and for once I am quite happy that the TV is taking mummy’s place for an hour.
So in the spirit of being a misery guts I thought I’d compile a list of things people think it is OK to say to pregnant women. Luckily I am extremely gifted at gritting my teeth and smiling at strangers, otherwise I’m sure I would’ve been accused of GBH by now.
– Oh, it’s definitely a boy, I can tell. I have a knack for these sorts of things.
– Was it planned?
– You’re not pregnant!
– How long to go now?
– You look tired.
– You’re having a girl, aren’t you? I can tell by the way you’re carrying/the colour of your eyes/the smell of your farts.
– Oh wow… you’re brave.
– Can I touch?
– You poor thing, you look exhausted.
– Do you plan on having a natural birth/breastfeeding/circumcising/homeschooling?
– You look like you’re about to pop.
– Eating for two?
Thank god for the sweet old lady who was the only stranger who spoke to me today; she commented on Elfie’s hairband. Had she said anything about pregnancy it would have tipped me over the edge.
The above photos were from this weekend. We had a lovely time with lots of family members and I definitely didn’t want to kill anyone.