If you ask any new mum the one thing they miss about their life pre-parenthood, they’ll probably say the same thing. Alone time. Me time. Silence.
That’s definitely true for me and I tell you, three years of not being able to take a dump without someone peering down the toilet asking you if your bottom is smelly, or shower without being accompanied by your knee-high shadow can really take its toll. Once you’re a mum you never truly feel alone again, and as one who has always been very comfortable in my own company I found this one of the hardest things to deal with.
Sometimes, and this sounds really silly, but I get so overwhelmed with the pressure of making sure my two little mouths get fed three times a day. That’s a strange thing to focus in on, but as an adult you can just inhale a banana or some cake for lunch if you’re busy/stressed/not hungry. You can call your husband for fish and chips, or eat pasta and butter (don’t knock it til you’ve tried it). These two little ones, however, need nutritionally balanced low-fat healthy meals cooked for them and sometimes it takes all I’ve got to think about what I’m going to cook them and then make it. Contrary to popular belief you can’t really feed them fish fingers every day and some days I find myself spending hours and hours slaving over meals for them.
Then there’s the daily pressure of making sure we’re doing fun, educational and stimulating activities, limiting the amount of CBeebies we watch (I find it easily becomes a crutch if I’m not sleeping well) and ensuring we make it to bedtime in a timely fashion and all in one piece. EXHAUSTING. It’s the most full-on flat-out job I’ve ever had. I obviously wouldn’t change it for the world but I do sometimes wish there was an HR department I could hand a holiday form to.
And that is why I have decided to take a bit of time off. On a whim last Friday night (and yeah, on two glasses of wine if I’m honest) I booked a ticket to New York City, leaving this Wednesday, as in 48 hours time. It’s time to cash in my ‘me time’.
My best friend Kirsty has lived out there almost as long as we’ve lived in the countryside and despite me vowing to visit for all that time I’ve always been a bit preoccupied with being pregnant or breastfeeding. Now I’m neither of those things I’ve decided there’s no time like the present. The last six months have not been particularly easy for me or my family so I think it’s important to get away and re-discover who I am once again. I hope I will come back a little more relaxed, a little happier and with a little less of a burden on my shoulders.
I can’t wait to spend some quality one-on-one time with Kirsty that doesn’t involve a Skype connection, strolling the streets of New York whilst she’s at work. More crucially I can’t wait to remember who I am again. I’m already anticipating the heartache of missing my children for five days but they will be getting in return a much happier mummy. I can’t wait.
Sounds wonderful! As the mum of an almost-six-month old I know exactly what you mean, and can only imagine the amplified feeling when looking after two. I feel bad about it, but already find myself looking forward to our first baby-free holiday (or weekend, realistically), even though I’m nowhere near ready to leave him with my mum for more than a few hours at the moment. Waking up after 6 a.m. would be nice, most of all!
Have a lovely time!
That sounds like my idea of HEAVEN! And I am totally with you on the meal-stress thing. I thought it was just me, so it’s good to know I am not the only one finding that element of mummy-ness hard work. I miss the days of no lunch or a donut for breakfast :)
Enjoy NYC. So jealous!
It will be amazing. I have a 2 and 4 year old and recently went to Paris to run the marathon with a girlfriend. A physically exhausting event but I came back bouncing x
Sounds blissful – have a WONDERFUL break (& make sure you post lots of photos so I can be properly envious!)
Ooh enjoy! I’m not jealous at all *cough* :) I’ve been to NYC twice, once pre baby and once post (and with) baby. Definitely preferred the former! You’ll have the best time. Those streets were made for random wandering, enjoy xx
*Blocks Alice from Twitter in fit of envy*
Seriously though, you certainly deserve to have a fabulous and indulgent couple of days after the less-than-perfect time you’ve had recently. I hope you make the most of it and don’t experience a moment’s guilt. Enjoy! x
Bravo Alice! When mine were 10 months and 4 we escaped to Ibiza with a bunch of uni mates to experience the other life I would be living if I wasn’t a Mum. Needless to say it wasn’t that ‘relaxing’ I came back more sleep deprived but just to have that me time back was ace. Rave on girlfriend and let me into some great New York hang outs. I’m off there in 16 days!
Fantastic you! Brave and wonderful. When I went on the Royal Caribbean cruise that was an utter revelation to me. I laughed harder than I had in a long time (thanks to my companions) and was totally refreshed. I need it again already!!
Have a blissful time! Mwah xx
Karin
Pasta and butter? Sounds delish.
PS oh yes and high five on the me-time in New York thing too ;)
I completely understand where you’re coming from and often think that if there was an HR department, I’d have a complaint or twenty heading their way. Peace and quiet is something I really miss and I envy you New York for the child-free flight if nothing else! Have a wonderful time x
Wow I can relate. I say this to other mammy friends and they lie about missing the me-time pre-children. like, seriously ?
I would love to be going to New York for me-time! Enjoy! And yes that 3 meals a day I hate, hate and hate so embrace only having an apple for lunch or a naughty New York salt beef bagel (iv heard they’re the best over there) and not having to slave in the kitchen for 5 days. Xx
GOOD WORK! You’re going to have an amazing time! Don’t feel an ounce of guilt, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I’m thinking of booking a yoga retreat next year, and I can’t wait!
Aww, sounds great! Do enjoy, and show us some of your photos when you get back so the rest of us can dream! :)
Have a fabulous time in NYC and enjoy your “me-time!” Very envious, I only live 40 miles from NYC and haven’t got round to going there without the kiddies yet since moving here a year ago!
Sounds fantastic. I’m feeling a little bit nostalgic for NYC at the moment. Great to take a bit of time off to get some perspective and no doubt you’ll miss your kids like crazy. I too know that pain of showering with a constant companion and have the door opened every second to ask what I’m doing. Not fun.
Have a fantastic time! I went to Berlin at the end of Feb with some friends for 4 days sans children, and it was brilliant, just what I needed. The flight was a highlight, getting to read a paper/magazines and drink tea WITHOUT BEING DISTURBED – and I don’t even LIKE flying! Enjoy :-)
When my boy was tiny my go to was pasta and cream cheese or pate on naan bread lol
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