I don’t like being called a mummy blogger.
There, I said it.
I am so many things. A woman, a single parent, a businesswoman, a mummy, a cook, a gym-goer, a shoe-lover, a fan of books. So why aren’t I a businesswoman blogger? Or a shoe-loving blogger? Or a divorce blogger? Because a part of my repertoire involves musings on parenthood why must I be referred to as a ‘mummy blogger’?
If you own a blog and spend even a little bit of time writing about your children you seem to get popped in the category of ‘mummy blogger’. But to be honest, as lovely as they are I’m never going to write a whole blog about my children. I think I’d be bored to tears discussing them all day every day – there’s only so much material they give me and I don’t have any interesting poo stories anymore – so goodness knows why other people would want to read it. I prefer to write about a wider range of things, like dating or hotels or food or divorce and oh yeah go on then, just a little bit about my role as a mum and my children.
I don’t know why but to me it feels like the term minimises what not just myself but our whole sector of blogging does in the world of online publishing. Our collective voice is huge and together we have achieved so many wonderful things; both Hayley and Alice blog about being mums and their kids but they’ve both made incredible waves in Downs Syndrome awareness. Lucy and Katie chat about what they got up to with their families but are also astoundingly talented photographers. Fritha and Morgana make notes on their children’s milestones but both also run successful online businesses. But at one time or another all of these women have been mummy bloggers first and businesswomen/photographers/activists second.
So if I’m not a mummy blogger, what is?
In my opinion a mummy blogger would be someone who perhaps identifies their children and being a mother as their greatest achievement – maybe someone who is proud to be referred to as a mummy by others other than her kids. I’m sure there’s a section of bloggers who will recognise themselves in this description and each to their own and all that but I believe this is the exception rather than the rule. After all, isn’t that why we blog? To step outside our role as mothers and create something that will further our expertise and creativity? Having children might have been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done but it definitely doesn’t define me and to be honest it hasn’t made me an expert on the subject of being a mother, either.
In addition I think there’s also the wider feminist issue of the trivialisation of things domestic and mother-related that to me seems synonymous with the term ‘mummy’ outside of your own family. But yet I don’t want to minimise what a mummy does. I am one, I know it’s the toughest job out there, much harder than anything I’ve ever done. So why does the term ‘mummy blogger’ feel so jarring?
As a words-loving person I realise I might be reading a bit too much into the semantics of this label – don’t even get me started (again) on mumpreneur. What do you think? Does the term ‘mummy blogger’ minimise what we do?
‘After all, isn’t that why we blog? To step outside our role as mothers and create something that will further our expertise and creativity?’ – THIS
I’m never 100% sure how I feel about the term, on one hand I feel like it’s tied up with a certain type of blog, one thats solely about everything to do with children, filled with reviews on bath toys and thoughts on baby food and I don’t identify myself and my blog with that kind of writing (although obviously each to their own and there is room for all kinds of blogs!). Then on the other hand I feel like it’s a term to be embraced, that we are mothers and so dismissing the term is putting down how amazing that job is, homemade baby food and all..
I think I probably would say I’m a ‘parenting blogger’ if asked so I guess I do shy away from being labelled a ‘mummy blogger’ which suggests I’m not comfortable with it..basically I’m just as confused about the term and how I feel about it as you! Thanks for mentioning me btw! xxx
I much prefer parenting blogger too somehow… lifestyle blogger even better but it sounds a bit wanky! x
Yes. YES. This, too. Part of the reason I blog is to record this parenting part of my life (and I’m a “lifestyle and PARENTING blogger” not a “Mummy blogger”) but another part is to keep up my creative habit while I’m out of the workplace and while so much of my brain is given over to CBeebies; my blog is not just about being Matilda’s mother – it’s about continuing to be me regardless.
“my blog is not just about being Matilda’s mother – it’s about continuing to be me regardless”
LOVE this quote – that’s exactly what I’m trying to do too. Sums it up perfectly!
I’ve written in the past about my own issues with that term. I think for me it is the assumption that ‘being a mummy’ is the whole theme of a blog, and that the subject matter tends to be looked upon as trivial. Because, you know, everything else is interesting and important, clearly.
It’s interesting that bringing up kids is literally the most important and tough job in the world and yet everything to do with mothering and parenthood is seen as trivial and fluffy. I could be raising the next Prime Minister, I might actually be the top person in Britain right now.
I agree, it seems pretty harmless but it is patronising and a little sexist. Men writing similar blogs would never be labelled “daddy bloggers.”
PS This is a totally selfish request and I am not sure how many other readers would be interested in a similar post BUT I was thinking the other day how much I would love to read about your journey in running your own business. I’m thinking of taking the plunge and quitting my day job (gulp) in order to start working for myself and my head is already swimming with all the nitty gritty and slightly boring issues (sole trader vs ltd company, tax, accountants, choosing a company name, choosing web hosting, blah blah blah) as well as the other wider issues of coming to terms with not having the security of fixed employment, holiday/sick pay, the “identity” associated with working for a specific employer, the stress and accountability of it all…). I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now so I know that you have yo-yo’d between employment and self-employment and would love to read about your experiences/decisions/wisdom. The fact that I am a mum too makes me worry that I am going to be labelled a ‘mumpreneur’ which as you rightly point out, is slightly vom-inducing.
I’ve been thinking about writing about this! I have to say I literally know nothing about tax/accounts etc (have a look here for that – http://blog.krisatomic.com/?p=7028) but I can definitely have a bash at writing about the rest.
Anyone who labels you a mumpreneur does not deserve to be labelling even out of date meat ;) x
Excellent, can’t wait for that post! Thank you x
I HATE the expression ‘mummy blogger’ can we not just ban it altogether? It seems so terribly outdated. Let’s move with the times – yes we happen to be a blogger and yes, we might be a mummy too but that’s where it ends!
My thoughts exactly!
Imagine if, once you gave birth, you had to prefix everything you were passionate about, or did for a living, with the word mummy. “Hi, I’m Eleanor – mummy director” “Hi, I’m Eleanor – mummy crisis management and PR person” or even better, “Hi, I’m Eleanor, I’m David’s mummy wife”. GAHHHHHH FFS
haha so true!! x
Ha! Yes – I’d be a “mummy media co-ordinator” (which just sounds like a pretentious way of saying “mummy blogger”, TBH).
This is it in a nutshell! So true!
This is brilliant and so true! It seems ridiculous we’re labelled and can’t be more than one thing. x
I totally love what Eleanor said. Absolutely right!
I blogged about the label money blogging back in January. Your thoughts made me go back and read it, just in case I’d changed my mind about how I felt.
I haven’t.
https://katyboo1.wordpress.com/2015/01/06/is-this-gritty/
I love that post, Katy. You wrote exactly how I feel except in a more articulate and less ragey way. Brilliant.
Thank you. Only just noticed the typo in my comment. MUMMY not MONEY. Argh!
You’ll always be my favourite mummy blogger ;)
Shh you ;) x
i like to think of you as an ‘Alice blogger’ – me, you and Hassell will take over the world one day!!
YEAH! I’m well in for that!! Alice blogging: a whole new genre of online publishing!
I wrote a post about this time last year questioning whether I am a mummy blogger, because I write about life with no living children, my first and only child having died when he was just 35 days old. Even those with living children write about more than their offspring – we’re multi-faceted beings whatever our family unit looks like – so I vote to do away with the term! Fewer labels, more diversity I say! Great post xx
Fewer labels – more diversity. Hear hear! x
Eleanor has hit the nail on the head and I totally agree with you with this one, it’s so hard to see what label sit well when actually it’s a shame to have to label at all. I’m a mummy, wife, blogger, creative…individual. i suppose that’s why I use lifestyle as I talk about many aspects of what I like. But yes don’t get me started on Mumpreneur! x
Yes!! You’ve totally nailed it… I’d much rather opt for ‘parenting blogger’
Such an interesting, thought-provoking post. I’m unsure on how I feel about the term too, on the one hand it’s a shorthand that defines a niche and a powerful one at that, on the other, it can be limiting. I have Mum in the title of my blog yet I work across all sectors, and yes my clients clearly want to target parents although a lot of my commissions are simply focused on the 30+ female market. I tend to define myself as a parenting and lifestyle blogger. I must add I don’t personally feel limited by the term at all, working in beauty, style, food, film, travel etc. I write what I’m passionate about and work with brands that fit those areas. I’m so incredibly proud of being a mum and the majority of my most personal posts surround my kids, but like you, motherhood is one part of my identity not the whole of it….I do feel there’s a huge respect from readers and the industry regarding the respect issue of the term and our jobs as ‘mummy bloggers’. I’m friends with some of the biggest bloggers and vloggers (the supers if you like) in fashion, music, menswear, we share clients, agencies etc and we’re very honest about the deals we have and jobs we do and our sector is most definitely booming. There’s never been a better time to be a parenting blogger or whatever term you prefer x
Really fab post, definitely made me think. My blog name has “Mummy” on it, and I definitely write a lot about my kids (and like it that way) but I would categorise myself as family lifestyle blogger, rather than mummy blogger. In a way I don’t actually mind mummy blogger term at all, and in a way I feel maybe we, as mums, should embrace it. I am a bit fed up with hearing mummy term being constantly used, maybe not consciously, but certainly in the context of contextualising women as being just a mummy, or not anything other than mummy. That somehow, once you pop a few out of your vaginas, you stop being anything else or being capable of doing anything else than being mother.
Ah difficult to explain, but all I am trying to say is that maybe we should embrace being mummys, mummy bloggers and everything else that comes with it and be proud and reclaim that word as something that deserves to be shouted and celebrated about.
Alice, one of the reasons that I love and respect you as a person is because you really THIINK about things like this. *fist bump*
I have mixed feelings about the term ‘mummy blogger’. A couple of years ago, when I was speaking at Mumsnet Blogfest, I was clear that it shouldn’t be a term that diminishes what we do or who we are. I said that being a mother was my biggest achievement in life – bigger than being a magazine editor or any other professional achievement. And that’s still true, but I’m starting to wonder if actually the term doesn’t do us justice. Yes, we write (in part of whole) about being a mum but as you say, we write about SO MUCH MORE than that.
It still concerns me that someone rolling their eyes and saying ” Oh, she’s a MUMMY BLOGGER” seems like an easy way to put someone down – when there’s nothing bad about either of those words. Mummy? Cool. Blogger? OK. Why does putting them together suddenly make someone less worthy?
And here endeth my essay on mummy bloggers ;)
The term makes me cringe a bit, almost like we’re getting a little pat on the head, ‘there, there mummy blogger, well done you’! I think for Brit Mums or one of the other big sites, to join their network I had to fill in an online thing and had to tick the box to say that I was a ‘mummy blogger’, and it made me so angry! There’s far more to it than that. Great post, oh and LOVE LOVE your new blog looks, its brill x