In Which I Go Gooey Over My Little Man

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The relationships we have with our children, they are complex and frightening things. Even moreso than the relationships we have with other adults (and I’m speaking as someone who spilt apple pie over her divorce petition last night, so yeah… complex).

I feel quite different about the relationship I have with Hux than the one I have with Elfie. I’m not a girly girl and don’t have tons of girl friends (but the ones I do have are meticulously chosen and loved to bits), my non-PC sense of humour and love of straight-talking has always meant I’ve found it easier to get along with blokes. So is this why I am closer to Hux than I was to Elf at this age? Or is it because I breastfed him for so much longer? Co-slept? Was so more relaxed because he was the second child? Or is this just the different relationship mothers have with sons?

I don’t love Elfie any less, no siree. But our time together is just more… fiery. There are more ups and downs, more “I not love you, mummy!!”, more hands-on-hips, stompy strops and frayed tempers (her and me). She definitely takes after me, the lovely little madam.

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I seem to be a bit more tolerant of little Hux. He’s now one month away from one and a half and couldn’t be lovelier. It seems silly to say but this little man has developed quite the sense of humour and knows how to use it. When people meet him they comment on 1) how smiley he is, 2) how funny he is and 3) how handsome he is. I agree on all three counts. When we were on our cruise last week he spent time each evening in the night nursery where babies were strictly only allowed in if they were asleep. Hux? Nah. They liked it if he was awake because he would flirt and play peekaboo with them.

He can talk! Well, ish. He can say nana as he always has been able to but has added mama, dada, milk, no no no no and yeah yeah yeah yeah to his repertoire. He knows who his grannie and grandpa are but calls them both ‘papa’. He says bath, ball, pool and there and can’t get enough of spending time in the water. He’ll go swimming til his lips turn blue and he starts to shake but even then he’ll wail like a banshee when you remove him from the water.

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Hux likes buttons, mostly on electrical items. Buttons on tv remotes, buttons on phones, buttons on calculators. Anything with buttons he will hold to his ear and say “yah yah yah yah?” like he’s come straight off the set off Ab Fab. He also likes bras and mostly hangs the strap around his neck and then holds his arms out as if to say, “ta-dahhh!”. Ditto pants on head, he is always so proud to put Elfie’s pants on his head. I’m pretty confident this is just a stage and he isn’t going to grow up a deviant.

I don’t know if it’s just Hux or if this is more of a general boy thing but he has a great affinity with the toilet. Particularly the toilet brush. If he could he would spend all day with the toilet brush and let’s stop talking about this because I do my best to keep him out the bathroom and it’s completely gross.

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He’s also completely independent. He’s not walking yet but cruises along anything he can. He refuses to be fed which can make dinner time tricky but today managed to spoon feed a whole portion of mashed potato to himself, the little genius. His independence mean he’s quite happy to entertain himself for half an hour or so, though when left to his own devices I usually find him in some precarious position trying to get something forbidden off a shelf, or scaling a sofa as if it’s mount Everest.

Hux loves his sister, so so much. They light up when they’re together and although I promised myself I’d never be the sort of mummy who says soppy things it really is beautiful to see them delight in each others company so much. Mostly, anyway. Elfie is always wailing because Hux has taken some toy or another off her and although I try to tell her that she’s bigger than him and so doesn’t have to let him take her toys she is a big softie. They cuddle and communicate in giggles and pokes. It’s awesome.

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Hux is definitely a mummy’s boy but is only cuddly on some occassions. He knows exactly what I mean when I ask him for a cuddle and usually says “no no no” then laughs in my face, the heartbreaker, but sometimes he will oblige and bury his face in my neck. Which is always divine. On holiday last week there was one night when his temperature climbed to 39.5 and all he wanted to do was snuggle in my arms and have his back tickled. I pretended to be cross as it was 3am and I’d been up with him for three hours but I secretly loved every second. I know it won’t last forever and I treasure the moments I get to cuddle my baby boy before he starts smelling of cheesy feet, farts and Lynx.

23 Comments
  1. Lovely post, I can’t comment on how a relationship between a mother and son is different to mother and daughter But I have heard a lot of people describe it like you. Is it because girls want to get independent a lot quicker

  2. I can’t comment on the difference between having boys and girls but I’ve often heard it described this way too. I think with boys, you see what you get (where as for me and my sisters we were quite clever in our tantrums and getting our own way ect) Wilf is a mummy’s boy too. I never really thought about having a boy when I was pregnant, I think you always imagine having a girl but now I would love a whole little gang of boys (one day!) of course they are both amazing in different ways, basically children are just ace aren’t they :) xx
    http://www.tigerlillyquinn.com

    1. Yes, boys are a lot more straightforward, aren’t they? I never ever ever wanted a boy when I was pregnant, but they are sooooo special. They all are, boys or girls! x

  3. I don’t ever think there’s any need to be apologetic about being in love with your kids. Elfie and Ramona are quite similar – there never isn’t SOME drama in the house, though I accept my share of blame as I have very little patience in general – but I wouldn’t have it any other way either.

    Hux is gorgeous. Elfie is wonderful. Ramona is awesome.

    Aren’t we lucky? :)

    1. Heh, yes to the drama, and I also think I’m a bit responsible for that as I don’t have much patience either.

      We are so bloody lucky to be parents of such wonderful children :) x

  4. Such sweet photos of him – he’s such a sweetheart – and yes, soak it up before the lynx effect kicks in! The smell of ‘Musk’ is something that hits the nostrils with a BOOM…
    I have the same sort of relationship with Kitty and Ozzy – Papasaurus thinks it’s because Kitty and I are ‘too similar’ !

  5. Gorgeous post, he is a cutie! I find my relationships with all 3 are so different, tho I love them all with the same primal mothering thing! And our toilet brush is now proudly displayed for all to see on a high shelf, because Syd cannot resist playing with it if left in its usual tucked down the side of the toilet spot- boys are gross! X

  6. Such a gorgeous post and oh what a little heartbreaker he is! Your children are absolutely adorable. I only have my little boy but our relationship is very similar to how you describe. Cuddles are rare but are amazing when they do happen. And I reckon you’ve got a fair while yet, mine is 4 and I still look at him like my baby. *tells self off for being so mushy*

    xxx

  7. I could’ve written this post. From the differences in relationship between my girl and I down to the sibling relationship, mummy cuddles etc.

    We had to move the bog brush & bin to the windowsill out of reach, ha…

    1. I put my bog brush on the windowsill too! Which is fine until people come over and wonder why I keep my loo brush pride of place. Little boys are gross.

  8. I have lots of combinations (but no daughters) and have to say it is all very interesting. I find the most difficult is the relationship with the son who is most like myself to be honest. I am fondly affectionate of the boy who does what I want the most – so no playing with bog brushes there.

  9. I so agree one the relationship with son and daughter. I’ve often wondered the same whether it is down to my boy being second born and me being SO much calmer and actually able to feed him myself. There is definitely a mum/son thing but there’s also a mum/daughter thing. Each one different. Each one special. x Oh, my boy already farts for England but the cheesey feet and Lynx is starting to freak me out now ;)

  10. Hi Alice,

    One of my sons used to go about everywhere with a red pair of woolly tights on his head – he liked to have the legs flying behind him like a superior form of Batman cape. He did this for a VERY LONG TIME.
    You may be glad to hear that now he is grown up, he wears a regular traditional male wardrobe and has a job (& yes, he went through the Lynx phase too!).

    best wishes,
    Julia

  11. I have a really similar thing with my son. Love the way you describe your relationship with your daughter. My daughter was also my first and our relationship feels far more complex than the simplicity of the one I have with my 1.5 year old son.
    As ever you sum up the detail of family life so beautifully. Thank you.
    x

  12. That last picture is just adorable! I think i’ve also been surprised at the different relationships I have between both of mine, I love them both equally, but like you, it’s different with each. Sasha is the same age as Hux, and I just love this stage. She too refuses to be fed, so mealtimes are tres messy. I gave her soup the other day for lunch- BAD idea when your kitchen is mostly white!

  13. Such a sweet post and lovely to read about your relationship with your little boy Hux, he is adorable (as is your gorgeous girl too of course). The last line of this post really made me laugh too :-) xx

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