Little Huxley was a whopping four weeks old yesterday and it feels like he’s been a part of our family forever. Being able to reference ‘the kids’ and ‘my son’ has been such a huge novelty I’ve found myself repeating it over and over this week. I feel like I need to pause for a second to reflect on when I grew up enough to have KIDS – not one, but two of them. With one child I was able to convince myself I was still pretty devoid of responsibility, still footloose and fancy free (hah!) but two children… that shit’s cray (as I hear the footloose and fancy free kids are saying these days).
I had a bit of a Eureka! moment last night when reflecting on the last nine months + 4 weeks; I realised I can do this motherhood gig. I spent so much of the pregnancy worrying about how on earth I would cope with two children and I’ve realised that I can, I am capable and it will be OK. It’s hard, it’s a juggling act and a few things arent being accomplished as they used to (work, laundry, twitter, hoovering…) but with the support of our families we’re getting there. Ridiculously this realisation has been such a relief, I almost feel like I’ve been spending the last month holding my breath just waiting to flounder under the pressure of our new life and knowing that it doesn’t have to be like that is wonderful. Touch wood.
Huxley is a completely different baby to Elfie and I’m finding the experience this time round so far removed from what we went through with her. I’m not sure if this is because there was so much negativity surrounding Elfie’s early stages as she was so poorly, because I’m more experienced or because of the sort of baby he is but I feel so much more relaxed. He is the apple of my eye.
We’ve slipped into different parenting choices this time around too. Because of Elfie’s health difficulties she was only breastfed for a week or so before we moved onto bottles, but Hux is still going strong on the boob. At his weigh-in last week he’d put on a massive 2lb which apparently is Very Good for a baby who is completely breast fed. We are cosleeping with him as he refuses to sleep in his BedNest, but I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would and don’t miss my own bed space. There’s something really special to be able to wake up with your nose in the nape of your baby’s neck… mm, newborn. I’ve also become a bit of a baby wearer and find it so much easier to take Hux out in the carrier rather than his pushchair and he loves to sleep this way.
Hux has so far been a bit of a colicky baby, the evenings in particular are a struggle. He has a lot of tension in his little body, his neck, back and tummy seem to trouble him most and it’s very difficult to bring his wind up. So to help him along I’ve taken him on a couple of cranial osteopathy sessions which seem to have relieved some of the poor little man’s discomfort. I don’t know what kind of witch doctory they perform, I find it hugely intriguing as the osteopath makes the most subtle of movements with her hands on his body, but the effect has been mind boggling. It makes him a much happier and more relaxed little boy.
One thing I want to work on over the next four weeks is Huxley’s independence. He’s still such a teeny baby so I’m not too worried about his clingyness but if I could retrieve a couple of hours a day to eat lunch, cook dinner and cuddle Elfie whilst he happily sits in his swing chair it would make all the difference. He’s just such a mummy’s boy right now.
Aww, he’s just so gorgeous!
And you, Mrs, are doing an incredible job! The thought of one baby terrifies me, let alone two! x
Once you get over the fact that you ain’t gonna sleep for a while it’s not so bad! x
Sweet stuff :) I bfed both of my kids the same length of time, but I also only co-slept with the second and wore him in a baby carrier. The babies of the family always get a bit spoiled :) (not really, but you know what I mean) I think in the end it just comes down to the fact that it’s easier to feed them when you co sleep and it’s easier to do stuff when you’re carrying them on your body.
Definitely! Being able to feed in bed while half asleep is SO much better than hiking down the stairs in the middle of the night to sort out bottles.
Very cute! x
He’s SO lovely. My son is a mummy’s boy, too. He LOVES his sister and Dad but if anyone else is getting a hug from me, he gets well jel. We also still co-sleep with Elliot, not for want of trying to pop him in his own cot, but he is not good at self soothing, so when he wakes in the night, he comes in with us. As much as it’s sweet that he loves his mummy as much as he does, I am looking forward to a night without him at Britmums.
And I’m looking forward to meeting YOU at BritMums! x
He is just adorable. Osteopaths are magic. I told you so!
It’s wonderful! My mum’s coming with me to tomorrow’s appointment as she doesn’t believe when I described to her how it works – she’s seen the amazing results!
Looks like you are settling in to things perfectly with your little man. Having two babes is tough at time but lovely in so many ways. My second was a chilled out easy little thing – I think my parenting approach was definitely more relaxed, but she was and still is definitely waaay calmer than my first. And enjoy the bed-sharing. They grow out of that soon enough. xx
I am wondering if he’s calmer because we’re calmer or if he’s calmer because he’s a chilled baby. Combination of both, perhaps? x
Lovely hearing how he’s getting on. He sounds a lot like my little one. He’s a right mummy’s boy and until last week we were cosleeping as he just didn’t want to be in his cot. I have a baby carrier like yours which I really should use more as it would actually help me get stuff done around the house. Might be good to use on the school run too.
And like you I am still getting used to saying the “the kids” but it makes m smile. It does sound terribly grown up! But I’m 35 with two children so I guess that does mean I’m a grown up now!
I’m hoping he’ll start to go in his bedside cot soon, he’s now able to sleep at night on his own next to me rather than in my arms! Woohooh! We’ll get there!
Sweeeeet! Don’t worry about clingyness. Lil L has been exactly the same as a wee one and wouldn’t stop wailing the minute I put her down, but that changed at about 6 weeks. She’s a very independent girl today…
PS: ‘The kids’? That shit’s kray, indeed! ;-)
6 weeks seems to be the magic age, I remember, when things all start to get a bit easier. I’m looking forward to it! ;)
Awww, he’s lovely! And it sounds as though you’re doing really well. I co-slept with my boy (hadn’t intended to, but he refused to sleep in the moses basket). Going to try not to this time around, just because I was paranoid about squashing him, but when it comes down to it I’ll do anything for a quiet night’s sleep. Don’t worry about him being clingy – enjoy it!
I did get that paranoia but once I’m asleep next to him I seem not to move a muscle! No squishing, yet.
Hats off to you mama managing two. I can just about handle one! Wish I could co-sleep with Amelie but I’m too scared of rolling on her so can’t drop off, is v annoying!
I get scared of that too but it seems that once I’m asleep in one position next to him I don’t move a muscle until he wakes up again, very clever!
Lovely to hear it’s all going well :) very pleased for you and encouraged to hear you manage so well with two kiddos. He looks adorable.
x
Thanks Juliet! Xx
I have been reading your blog for ages but never commented before! Congratulations on your gorgeous family.
I really hope you don’t mind me saying this but…….I think you are using a babybjorn type carrier? I wanted to point out there are better carriers out there, especially considering your beautiful baby boy is still so small.
The downside of this type of carrier is that all his weight is on his crotch which, especially for boys, is not so comfortable. Plus the feet/legs dangle instead of being in a ‘frog’like position.
I am not hugely experienced myself as I only started looking into carriers (after not being happy with the babybjorn) when my son was about 4 months old. But I am heavily pregnant with number 2 and with a son about your daughter’s age I will definately be carrying this new baby from the get go.
I have an ergo baby and a hugely long piece of fabric called a moby.
There are lots of good helpful sites out there.
Again I really hope you do not mind butting my nose in, if you do please disregard my comment….
Thanks Myra, this is really interesting feedback. I used my sling a lot more with Elfie but for some reason Hux took an instant dislike to it which is why he’s in the Baby Bjorn. After reading your advice I’ll definitely persevere with it though, and try a couple of different types of sling if we still have no joy! Thank you x
We tried a few different ones and borrowed some from friends before we settled on the ergo (and the moby).
I really love the ergo, the upside is that once they get a little bigger you can carry them on your back in it too. What sold us is how comfortable our son was in it vs the struggle that was the babybjorn. Especially when he was older and we were able to stop using the infant insert.
The moby is just so handy when they are tiny as you just wrap the fabric around you in a certain way and pop them in.
I’m in the Netherlands and there is this entire community dedicated to babywearing and the moms go crazy for all the different wraps and carriers. They spend a fortune, that’s definately not me :) but a whole new world is opening itself up to me.
One of the reasons I love your blog so much is that you write things that really resonate with me and this takes me back so vividly to this time last year. When I was where you were.
One of the most lovely things about having a second is that I had so much less anxiety at the beginning. As you say, I felt as if I knew what I was doing more than the first time and so wasn’t constantly looking at the clock or stressing about how much he had slept or ate. It was lovely.
The other most surprising thing is realising so early that they are quite different and so you parent them differently. I have rarely co-slept with Eli as he just hasn’t needed it, but Noah was a much less independent baby and needed us to be close for any of us to get any sleep.
A lovely post, as usual. Oh and I still get a buzz out of say ‘the children’ x
I have to say that you were one of my biggest inspirations when deciding to take Huxley with me to BritMums this year as you seemed to cope so effortlessly at cyber mummy last year with a newborn!
You’re right, I think first time around my anxiety levels were off the chart but now they’re non existent. It feels good! Xx
Congrats again! He is such a little sweetie and I’m glad to hear that you are adjusting to life with two littles well. Hugs!
Thanks Kara! Xx
Hi there
Loving this blog which I have stumbled across – my second baby is due in feb and my son is 14 months old (11 months corrected – he was born @ 25 weeks) and I was wondering if you have had to get a double buggy too? I see Huxley is in the bee that we have and I’m dreading trading it in for a HUGE buggy!
Thanks. Xx
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