Little Huxley was a whopping four weeks old yesterday and it feels like he’s been a part of our family forever. Being able to reference ‘the kids’ and ‘my son’ has been such a huge novelty I’ve found myself repeating it over and over this week. I feel like I need to pause for a second to reflect on when I grew up enough to have KIDS – not one, but two of them. With one child I was able to convince myself I was still pretty devoid of responsibility, still footloose and fancy free (hah!) but two children… that shit’s cray (as I hear the footloose and fancy free kids are saying these days).
I had a bit of a Eureka! moment last night when reflecting on the last nine months + 4 weeks; I realised I can do this motherhood gig. I spent so much of the pregnancy worrying about how on earth I would cope with two children and I’ve realised that I can, I am capable and it will be OK. It’s hard, it’s a juggling act and a few things arent being accomplished as they used to (work, laundry, twitter, hoovering…) but with the support of our families we’re getting there. Ridiculously this realisation has been such a relief, I almost feel like I’ve been spending the last month holding my breath just waiting to flounder under the pressure of our new life and knowing that it doesn’t have to be like that is wonderful. Touch wood.
Huxley is a completely different baby to Elfie and I’m finding the experience this time round so far removed from what we went through with her. I’m not sure if this is because there was so much negativity surrounding Elfie’s early stages as she was so poorly, because I’m more experienced or because of the sort of baby he is but I feel so much more relaxed. He is the apple of my eye.
We’ve slipped into different parenting choices this time around too. Because of Elfie’s health difficulties she was only breastfed for a week or so before we moved onto bottles, but Hux is still going strong on the boob. At his weigh-in last week he’d put on a massive 2lb which apparently is Very Good for a baby who is completely breast fed. We are cosleeping with him as he refuses to sleep in his BedNest, but I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would and don’t miss my own bed space. There’s something really special to be able to wake up with your nose in the nape of your baby’s neck… mm, newborn. I’ve also become a bit of a baby wearer and find it so much easier to take Hux out in the carrier rather than his pushchair and he loves to sleep this way.
Hux has so far been a bit of a colicky baby, the evenings in particular are a struggle. He has a lot of tension in his little body, his neck, back and tummy seem to trouble him most and it’s very difficult to bring his wind up. So to help him along I’ve taken him on a couple of cranial osteopathy sessions which seem to have relieved some of the poor little man’s discomfort. I don’t know what kind of witch doctory they perform, I find it hugely intriguing as the osteopath makes the most subtle of movements with her hands on his body, but the effect has been mind boggling. It makes him a much happier and more relaxed little boy.
One thing I want to work on over the next four weeks is Huxley’s independence. He’s still such a teeny baby so I’m not too worried about his clingyness but if I could retrieve a couple of hours a day to eat lunch, cook dinner and cuddle Elfie whilst he happily sits in his swing chair it would make all the difference. He’s just such a mummy’s boy right now.