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Oh yes, there was an Elfie/Mummy/kitchen scissors haircutting incident. Ahem. More on that soon.
As usual, writing about the way I was feeling yesterday was more therapeutic for me than anything. Getting it all off my chest, hearing I’m not alone and knowing that actually this isn’t all in my head was such a huge boost. To everyone who responded and emailed: thank-you, I totally ran out of puff when it came to responding last night so I will be digesting your words further and writing later.
Though I have my very very bad days for the majority of the time I am trying my best to be happy, and sometimes when I try hard enough it feels like I’m the old me again. I want you to know that’s who I am here. I never want you to think that I’m putting it on, or forcing some sort of personality that isn’t there. What you see here is who I am and if I’m feeling too crappy to write then I simply won’t. That’s usually when I go a bit quiet!
Today, on the day we celebrate mothers (and now I am one that means I get to celebrate myself…) I made the vow to forget everything and just try to enjoy my children. The day didn’t start too well, Elfie was up a lot in the night with a high temperature and an unspecified “I don’t feel very well mummy”. She came into our bed at 5 and there she stayed. Though we are big advocates of the kids sleeping in their own beds (she’s only slept in our bed once since she moved to her own room) it was actually perfect to wake up next to her.
I had a little lie-in, a card and some gorgeous Oliver Bonas scented candles before a family breakfast. Then I went for a run and a blissful bath that lasted ten minutes before it was ambushed by Elfie. My parents came over to watch the rugby and play with the kids and I now write this on the sofa in front of Come Dine With Me while Will feeds the kids and does unspeakably lovely things to a chicken (it involves garlic, Malden salt and olive oil). The day has been quiet, low-key and just what I needed.
All in all a lovely Sunday. Again this weekend has whizzed past.
Tomorrow will come too soon for a few reasons, back to the monotony of facing real life, but it will be OK. Starting tomorrow I am going to make it OK. Those two lovely faces will make it so.