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This post originally appeared at my old blog, www.the-alice.co.uk.
It would appear I have been on some sort of impromptu hiatus: no blogging since the end of November!
I had what you might call a kind of epiphany. Although maybe not, as it crept up on me fairly slowly and was a bit of a surprise; I have been realising a few things about myself, about my life, and the changes I needed to make to myself happy and fulfilled as a mother.
When I was growing up literally all I wanted to do was be a mum, and it’s all I’ve been working towards my whole life. So imagine my horror when, 5 months in, I realise that being a mum doesn’t make me feel ‘me’. I have spent the last 7 years working so hard and to suddenly stop (no matter how much I was looking forward to it!) was a huge shock to the system.
Without work, I don’t feel fulfilled.
Throughout December I had a go at freelancing, and despite a little lack of confidence on my part it turns out there is work out there for me – a couple of days a week if I want it of Marketing and PR. I have found scouting out business of my own so exhilarating, and I believe that it has made me a more contented person and therefore a better mum. I’ve been working easily in naptimes and after bedtime, and spending a few days in London whilst Elfie has lovely times with her Grannie.
Now I am going to concentrate on working out the guilt I feel at needing the escape from being a mum… I’m sure it will follow.