Blindsided

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This post originally appeared in my old blog, www.the-alice.co.uk

Before I got pregnant, I really thought it was a fairly easy process. I thought my boobs would grow slightly as they do once a month, I might crave some weird foods, I’d avoid alcohol, grow a cute belly and pop out a gorgeous baby after 9 months. I thought if I had morning sickness, it would be just that, a little bit of throwing up in the morning which I would be happy to deal with knowing there was a baby at the end of it.

Nobody told me about the bone-numbing tiredness, the total fatigue that would have me sleeping at my desk if I could. I didn’t know about the constipation, that morning sickness could be not only in the morning but all day (and night). I didn’t know that I would lose weight, having gone off all food (apart from cheese straws), and that my husband would force feed me my 5 a day. I didn’t anticipate my boobs to hurt SO MUCH that every time I roll over in bed I would wince. And most importantly, I didn’t know how badly I would suffer with the worry that something, anything, could go wrong at any moment.

Last week I noticed a drop-off in my symptoms, and Googling this at 2am was not a good idea. I managed to get an emergency appointment with my GP the next morning, and she decided that this, coupled with my cramps (which have been consistent the last three weeks) warranted an early scan the next day. If I said I was terrified that would have been an understatement.

We went off to hospital the next day with a full bladder, where horrendously they were running half an hour late. I have never ever needed to pee so badly in my entire life. When we were finally called in, the sonographer couldn’t find anything because my bladder was too big! I had to half empty it for another try, but still nothing, so I then had to empty it completely for an internal scan.

Our baby looked amazing. Measuring slightly small for our dates (7+2), they estimated the baby to be closer to 6+4, but this date will be re-estimated at my next scan on 4th January. Everything was perfect. Baby is in the right place, there is a healthy flickering heartbeat and my womb and ovaries are totally normal.

And to quash my worrying further, yesterday my symptoms came back with a vengance.

Relief.

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