Let’s face it – once you are out of university or college, dating becomes more difficult. It stops being as fun as soon as you start looking for a serious relationship instead of a bit of a fling. As soon as you begin to look for someone that can offer you security, a life together, and any specific requirements that you have for a long-term partner, dating gets harder.
And that’s before you’ve got any baggage. As a single parent, it’s more difficult still. Suddenly you don’t just have all of the usual worries about being alone forever or finding the perfect person to spend your life with. Now, you’ve also got to find someone that is happy to be part of a child’s life and for your ex-partner to always be in your life in some form. You are working with babysitter curfews and dating around after school clubs, classes and playdates. Even if dating goes well, taking it to the next step brings anxiety and panic.
Dating as a single parent can, at times, feel impossible. It’s not. In fact, it can even be great. Hopefully, these tips will help.
Give Yourself Some Time
Whatever the circumstances that have led to your being a single parent, they are bound to have been tough. You should expect a period of readjustment, and you shouldn’t rush in. Let yourself be sad. Let yourself grieve for the relationship and family that you have lost. Take your time to adjust to your new life, whether that means working out co-parenting arrangements or doing it all on your own. Don’t rush into dating until you are ready.
Practice Makes Perfect
If you’ve just got out of a long-term relationship, you may not have dated for a long time. You might be out of practice, and the whole process of going for dinner or to a movie with someone that isn’t your child might be awkward and uncomfortable.
So, get some practice. Head out for dinner with a friend, making sure you get dressed up and make an effort. Alternatively, Adult Seek can help you to find Escorts in Kensington for some fun and comfortable dates to help you get back into the swing of things and give you a confidence boost. You can learn more here about Adult Seek and the services that they can offer.
Don’t Look Too Far Ahead
Don’t think of every date as the one. Don’t even think about introducing them to the kids or taking the next step. Think about it a date at a time, and try not to rush, just because you want to be in a relationship.
Remember, it’s okay for dates to be fun, even if you know that it will never be serious. At some point, you might want to stop wasting your time with someone that you don’t have a future with, but until you reach this point, enjoy yourself.
Find a Babysitter You Trust
When you are out with a date, you don’t want to be worrying about your children back at home. Find a babysitter that you trust and stick with them. It’ll make the process much easier.
You may be tempted to date while your kids are with their other parent, and while this can be a good option, especially if it’s a regular arrangement, it can also be awkward. So, think about it carefully, and consider what you will say to your ex.
Have a Sense of Humour
We’ve all had terrible dates. There have been dates where everything has gone wrong, or when our date has had some awful habits. This doesn’t change when you’ve got children.
Don’t let the bad dates put you off. Laugh about them. Tell your friends about it or start an anonymous dating blog to tell your stories.
Don’t Keep Your Kids a Secret
One of the worst things that you can do as a dating single parent is to hide your children. While you won’t want to introduce them until the relationship is more serious, you should be open about them from the very beginning.
Know What Your Dealbreakers Are
Your dealbreakers won’t matter as much if you are enjoying yourself and dating for fun. But, you should know what they are, so that you can stop things before anyone gets hurt if you need to. Think about what you want from a partner, and what you want their relationship with your children to be. You might want to consider things like views on raising children, income and security.
Remember, dates can be just that. Enjoy yourself, have some fun, and take it one date at a time. Yes, it will be tricky. There will be dates you have to cancel because the kids are sick or the babysitter cancels. When you meet the right person, they won’t mind.