So you know when I wrote about my life at 28 weeks pregnant and everything was going swimmingly? I totally cursed myself with that one. Pregnancy has become a bit of an uphill struggle, something I’m not really enjoying anymore thanks to the aches, pains, tiredness and cravings.
My urge to eat ice is back. I had this with Elfie and went through about three bags a week, plus whatever I could beg in a pint glass from the pub next door to my office. I can’t explain the compulsion to chew on ice but it also extends to really really chilled water, wet fabric (especially clean-smelling wet fabric, the smell of clean laundry fresh from the washing machine sends me wild) and includes flannels. That’s right, I want to chew on flannels. I might have chewed on flannels in the bath. It’s so strange to want to put something so unnatural in your mouth (insert dirty joke here) but I just can’t get over the obsession.
I’m also enjoying the smell of bleach even more than usual and could quite happily spend all day cleaning, the scent actually makes my mouth water and has meant I’m now completely over the phobia I used to have of cleaning toilets (which I did last week, getting at the fiddly bits with a bloody toothbrush).
The tiredness has become pretty bad as well. Juggling a toddler, a house, a husband and pregnancy is exhausting beyond belief and most of the time I feel like I’m just about keeping my head above water. Work is at a bit of a standstill, as is any kind of social life unless it is planned out far in advance with naps and recovery time accounted for. Will has been very helpful and is getting up with Elfie first thing in the morning (Well, 7am), by the time her morning milk is ready I am awake enough to cuddle in bed with them both for a little chat. Then I’m back to bed at the same time as her (11am) for a snooze before we run errands or clean (i.e. sniff bleach… lovely lovely bleach). The above photo was taken yesterday, on Mother’s day, and pretty much summarises how tired I have been feeling. 5 minutes later I took a monster 2 hour nap, only waking up because I’d dribbled on myself.
Speaking of sleeping, I keep waking up on my back in the middle of the night which according to plenty of pregnancy websites is a Very Bad Thing. My back is always very sore by the end of the day and although I find it most comfy to sleep on my left side apparently my body disagrees. Which is weird because it takes a big painful heft and a heave to get back on my side again. Apparently Will is sleeping with a dribbling elephant.
We took a trip to the hospital last week to see my consultant and everything is looking good. Baby is head-down still and though the Doctor said that he can be moving every which way at the moment I’m pretty confident his position has remained consistent for at least the last six weeks. As I’ve said before, Elfie was breech from very early on and she was quite obviously upside down for the whole pregnancy (very uncomfortably). From this experience I feel very aware of the different parts of baby and I am 99% confident he has not once been breech. Great news for my planned VBAC.
I do wish the consultant wouldn’t query me further on my decision though… I don’t feel pushed into another C section but I am very aware that they are happy to do one without any sort of reason which makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I want them to be more behind the decision I’ve made to try for a natural active birth and wish they would make a C section a little less obtainable. I am trying to remain strong in my convictions though, am re-reading my natural and Hypno birth books as well as things I’ve written before about why this C-Section debate is so important to me, but honestly after such a lovely and easy Caesarian last time I am a little scared. Having never even gone into labour before I feel I am stepping into the unknown, strange when I feel at the same time (almost) an old hat at this parenting stuff.