Explaining My Absence

January 4, 2011

This post originally appeared at my old blog,

It would appear I have been on some sort of impromptu hiatus: no blogging since the end of November!

I had what you might call a kind of epiphany. Although maybe not, as it crept up on me fairly slowly and was a bit of a surprise; I have been realising a few things about myself, about my life, and the changes I needed to make to myself happy and fulfilled as a mother.

When I was growing up literally all I wanted to do was be a mum, and it’s all I’ve been working towards my whole life. So imagine my horror when, 5 months in, I realise that being a mum doesn’t make me feel ‘me’. I have spent the last 7 years working so hard and to suddenly stop (no matter how much I was looking forward to it!) was a huge shock to the system.

Without work, I don’t feel fulfilled.

Throughout December I had a go at freelancing, and despite a little lack of confidence on my part it turns out there is work out there for me – a couple of days a week if I want it of Marketing and PR. I have found scouting out business of my own so exhilarating, and I believe that it has made me a more contented person and therefore a better mum. I’ve been working easily in naptimes and after bedtime, and spending a few days in London whilst Elfie has lovely times with her Grannie.

Now I am going to concentrate on working out the guilt I feel at needing the escape from being a mum… I’m sure it will follow.

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  • Reply I ? Me, new weekly McLinky blog thing January 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    […] The Alice explains she needs to be me […]

  • Reply Anonymous January 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    welcome back darling – Tagged you over here –

  • Reply Kelly_A place of my own January 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    I also struggled to come to terms with the fact that I wanted to go back to work, I always thought I would love to be a SAHM. But once I was back and settled in I found that I didn’t feel guilty as the time I spent with Piran became quality time. I work two days a week and it is the perfect balance for us.

    I hope you all had a nice Christmas.

  • Reply Modern Dilemma January 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Welcome back lovely girl. So pleased you are figuring out what makes YOU happy & are finding work is available for people who don’t want to be full time. Your views, wants & needs regarding family, home, motherhood & work will change & evolve over the years & if you can learn early on to acknowledge your feelings AND make changes to accommodate them, then you are on the right path already.

    Hope little Missy is ok. Updates soon?

    MD xxxx

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