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Week sixteen has again been about a million times brighter than the preceeding weeks. I’d even go as far to say that, aside from a little extra tiredness, I feel normal again. NORMAL. I can cook again, I can clean, I can take Elfie swimming, go shopping and am generally happy. It’s a Christmas miracle!
It’s only now looking back on the last three months that I’ve realized what a complete period of insanity it’s been. That’s a quarter of the year right there that I lost to nausea, exhaustion and generally being a bitch. Poor Will feels even better than I do I think; as much as I always wanted to have another baby the idea to have one so soon originated with him. Althought I was on-board with it I think me telling him constantly “this is all YOUR fault… YOUR stupid idea” took its toll and there will be no more of that nastiness.
There was never a point when I didn’t want to have this baby, but when you’re sobbing on the floor because you feel so wretchedly ill and bone-tired it’s difficult to remember the reasons why you put yourself through this. I think it was almost worse than last time as I’d already been through it once before; I knew that the horrendousness would last 3 months whereas when I was pregnant with Elfie I kept convincing myself it’d be over ‘soon’. Again I marvel at the body’s capacity to forget and I worry about a potential baby number three now I’ve committed my first trimester experiences to paper (or blog). Right now I don’t think I could face going through it all again, especially not with two kids. I would rather do anything, ANYTHING, than go through that again.
This week has seen a really big work project coming to an end. I have worked my socks off on it since October and I am delighted to now take a few weeks off with Elfie – shopping, doing Christmassy things and napping. However, we have also had some bad news as we found out we have to move house again. Six weeks after moving us in our landlords have decided to sell up for their own financial reasons so we have started looking for a new place. We love this house to death and the long-term plan was always to buy it once our Nottingham house sold and we were more settled business-wise so it’s a shame this has come so soon… We’ve talked through every option available to us and right now purchasing another house just isn’t viable and I’m not prepared to stretch ourselves so much financially before baby comes along. If it’s meant to happen, it will.
Legally we have the house til April, but who wants to move at 8 months pregnant (done this once, it’s not fun). We want to stay in the village so will sit tight until Dream House mk II comes along. Or February, whichever happens sooner, then we’ll expand our search area slightly.
In other pregnancy news I now have sinusitis, yet another quirk I knew nothing about before I had Elfie. Apparently this is quite common during pregnancy, who knew? It makes walking when it’s cold pretty unbearable on my poor ears. I also have a touch of heartburn already and cramp in my leg. All a bit annoying, all I would take over exhaustion.
The bump is still nano sized and really only visible after a) I’ve eaten lots of carbs, or b) when my bladder is full. I did buy some maternity jeans last week though as my usual ones give me an interesting muffin top. They’re a little loose but I’m sure I’ll grow into them, and last time I hopefully started wearing maternity jeans at 8 weeks. So that’s an improvement.
I feel a little in pregnancy limbo right now – I don’t look especially pregnant, feel especially pregnant or act especially pregnant. I want to feel the baby kicks!!