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These days divorce does not mean the end of your life, an absolute loss of your dreams. However, it can still make you feel inadequate, dissatisfied and somewhat lost.
If you got divorced and, moreover, you have children, it is twice as hard to stay calm and look for a possible solution. In the following article, we are going to give useful tips for those of you who are becoming a single mom or dad after divorce and bringing up children without any help from the side of their ex-spouses. Let’s do it together!
If you are at the deadline of the marriage right now, your task is to agree with your ex-spouse about joint custody. It means that both you and your spouse will take care of the children, and you will not be alone. The divorced single mom or dad is not liable to look after the children alone. They are your joint children so you‘d assume that you wouldn’t have to remind your ex about that. If you already realized that nobody is eager to help you, ask the lawyer about alimony and spousal support. Fight for your rights!
2. Ask For Help
Possibly, your relatives or friends will be happy to assist you with the children after the breakup. According to Onlinedivorce, the first year after the divorce is the most complicated, so you must use this time to find a good nanny for kids, surely if you can afford it. It will allow you to work without restrictions and earn enough money for your well-being. Besides, you can ask the family from the side of your ex-spouse to help you with children as well. They are also blood relatives of your common children. Never hide from problems, solve them!
3. Find Joy in the Little Things
How to survive as a single parent? Well, admittedly, it is not the best event of your life; however, try to be somewhat optimistic in any case. At least, you have children, and they can become your inspiration, your hope for a better life, etc. Moreover, your children will love you much more and also will be grateful for everything you did for them. Find little things to enjoy in this life: good weather, a great project that will bring you lots of money, etc. If you are not ready to be positive, nobody will be friendly to you!
4. Stay For Your Interests
During the marriage, you might have forgotten about your own needs and preferences. Now, when you are completely free, just do what you want! If you are eager to go shopping with friends or sleep the whole day-just do it! You can find a new hobby or anything to make you happy. So, never forget about your interests and be always on the line.
5. Take Care Of Yourself
Single parents also want to be attractive, so why not begin a new life with a unique style or new haircut? All these small things will improve your mood and be helpful tips to increase your self-assessment. Changes might be both inner and outer. Change everything that makes you feel sad or else. If you are ready to begin a new life-why not start it right now?
6. Child Assistance
If your child is already grown up, approximately 10-15 years old, please, ask him/her for help as well. It can be anything, even the smallest of task, yet helpful. For example, why not do chores together? Washing up or vacuum cleaning the apartment is not a tremendous job; nevertheless, it is a consistent way of help from the side of your child. He/she will realize that you need some protection and assistance. In the future, it would be a great plus to his/her adult life.
7. Do Not Blame Yourself
According to Womansdivorce, single parents, primarily single moms, blame themselves for various reasons. They could not save the family; they were bad wives or mothers, etc. IT IS NOT RIGHT! Both spouses are responsible for the unsuccessful marriage, so your blaming hurts only you. Marriage has already gone. Now you have another life, full of various events and new encounters. Do not be stuck in your rut!
8. Stop Talking About Your Life
Hesitating about what to tell your friends who are always asking questions about your divorce? Just do not answer! Sometimes, useless topics which are broad are best to chat about in order to avoid talking about the divorce which will make you nervous, irritative, etc. You are free to tell: “Not now, we will talk about it later.” Stand for your interests and your good mood.
9. Spend Time With Children
They are your future. You can be grateful to the Lord for such a gift in your life-your child. Life after divorce with kids is challenging, yet exciting and full of your kids’ love. What can be better than his/her hugs, smiles and other joys? If you spend more time with your children, you won’t feel loneliness or a sense of emptiness. Parks, squares, beautiful gardens-all these places can bring you peace and calmness. Be ready to devote yourself to your children and get the same care when you are much older in the future,
10. Date If You Are Ready
Self-confidence is great! For everybody, it is a new step to move on and be delighted with life. If you are a single parent, it does not mean that you need to sit alone and be cut off from the outside world. If you are not ready right now to meet somebody and have romantic relations, it is okay. You can spend your free time reading interesting books, chatting with friends and enjoying your life! The main idea is to stop crying over spilled milk and start a new life.
11. Be A Perfect Parent
Your children also feel the grim situation happening with your family, so try to be kinder and more helpful towards them. Perfect does not mean that you must be an ideal parent, yet if you have spare time-spend it with your children or read them something interesting, or go to the cinema, etc. Kids will appreciate your attempts to treat them well, so do not let them down!
12. Find A Part-Time Job
It would be another source of income that is essential in your position, something not time-consuming; however, allowing you to buy your child one more clothing item or a tasty treat. These days, in the USA, there are a significant number of various sites offering you part-time jobs for each sphere of life. Find one that satisfies all your requirements and go for it!
13. Find Discounts and Sales
If only you are bringing home the bacon, you have to learn how to save money with the help of single parenting tips. There are lots of free of charge resources online, various courses and coachers, etc. It is not too difficult to buy only one dress for yourself this week or find a sale in the supermarket and purchase products there. Do your research before you pull the trigger to buy and never concentrate only on one shop, and you will see how much money you managed to save.
14. Find A Hobby
The best way is to find a joint hobby with your children. For example, pottery or painting. It is fascinating to develop an ordinary skill in your family and make small competitions as well. In such a way, you will show your children that you are still their beloved parent who will do his/her best to make their life perfect. A hobby will increase joy in your life, so do not neglect this idea the next time your children ask to do something together.
To Sum Up
Every divorce case is pitiful, yet you should be healthy for the sake of your children and know that the best is always ahead! Parenting tips for single moms will assist you in your position right now and make you concentrate on a better future rather than a terrible past.