When you’re a mum, any kind of mum – single, working, attached, stay at home – alone, or ‘me time’ become incredibly precious. In your new job as caretaker of a little mewling, pooping, vomiting bundle of joy you suddenly become indispensable, the most important person in the world to your offspring.
I don’t like being called a mummy blogger.
There, I said it.
I am so many things. A woman, a single parent, a businesswoman, a mummy, a cook, a gym-goer, a shoe-lover, a fan of books.
Sometimes you just have one of those weeks. Those weeks when you feel you’re tired and unmotivated, nothing goes right, you hate all your clothes and you just want to crawl back into bed and sleep your weird mind-funk off for a couple of days. Maybe only to be woken by someone bringing you sausage rolls or cheese toasties.
For the longest time I believed that ‘having it all’ revolved around ‘what the outside world thinks you have’. I thought it meant how big your house was, how new your car was, what your husband did, how well behaved your kids were, what clothes you wore.
The thing about sharing your life a couple of times a week through your computer is that if something happens and you’re unable to do it for a while it just becomes harder and harder to get back on to it.
When it comes to single parenting one of the hardest things for me is all the decision making. And not even the big stuff, either: does Elfie need a pre-school logo fleece or coat or both? Should I keep Hux’s hair short or grow it long? When do I convert Hux’s cot into a big boy’s bed? Trivial things, but for me I can find it agonising to make them on my own.
This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Not literally, you see I seem to stick to the left side (never been a starfisher) but I woke up in a vile mood. Grumpy. It was 6am, I was tired, Hux was shouting about wee wees and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep.
I got up, grabbed milk for the children and heaved myself into the shower. It was cold and I wanted to get back into bed.
6am: alarm goes off. I swear like a sailor because really this is way too early for any human to be awake. Hi, I am not a morning person, nice to meet you.
6.15am: the latest possible time I can drag myself up out of bed. Get in the shower before the kids stir which usually wakes Elfie up. Make a cup of tea while I’m heating up milk for them (obviously never have time to drink it).