Browsing Tag

divorce

Love + Dating

What I Learned About Love (By Getting a Divorce)

February 15, 2017
love lessons from divorce

When you get married at the age of 23 as I did, you think you know it all. About love, life, the universe… everything. I went into marriage thinking I was as grown up as I was going to get, blissfully unaware that one day it would fail, genuinely believing the wedding would fix all that I perceived was wrong with my life. Spoiler: it didn’t. If anything it magnified all the wrongs, highlighted the cracks, displayed the faults: like a…

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Love + Dating

Would You Throw a Divorce Party?

February 1, 2017

By design, divorce is altogether a negative thing. When a couple comes together in marriage and then splits at a later date, it’s usually a painful and difficult process. Have experienced it first-hand I can say that reneging on promises that enable you to be bound by law (and god, if that floats your boat) is not a great feeling. Was I distraught when I got divorced? No, not really. By then I’d been separated for two years, my ex-husband had…

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Motherhood

What Gilmore Girls Gets Right About Single Parents

December 6, 2016
gilmore girls single parenting

Recently, like the rest of the world, I’ve been watching Gilmore Girls. Goodness knows why I’ve never seen it before – it’s precisely the kind of easy-to-watch bingeable TV I enjoy, made all the more relevant as the main storylines focus on a single mother and her relationship with her daughter. Four years ago when I first became a single parent I would never have believed what the future would hold – especially as I had yet to watch Gilmore…

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Uncategorized

How to take the stress out of a recent divorce

November 29, 2016
13 stages of tinder

The day you said, advice “I do” and promised to “love and to cherish all the days of my life”, you no doubt meant every word – or you definitely wouldn’t have spent an average of £25,000 to say them! But unfortunately, an estimated 42% of marriages end in divorce. This can be for a multitude of reasons including a lack of commitment, continuous arguments, marrying too young, infidelity, or unrealistic expectations – to name a few. The decision to…

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Motherhood

What Being a Single Parent Feels Like

June 1, 2016
why are mums tired

I watched Myleene Klass’s Single Parents On Benefits programme last night. In fact, 24 hours before it aired I got cross when I read the title of the programme (mistake number one). And then, at 2am that night when I couldn’t sleep, I read the Daily Mail article slating all the mums on the programme (mistake number two). Which is why, at 7am the next morning when I was getting my single mum arse on an early train for a big work…

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Love + Dating

Does Divorce Turn You Into A Commitment-phobe?

January 19, 2016
does divorce turn you into a commitment-phobe

Divorce, as tough as the process is, can leave you feeling like you’re emotionally healthy, emotionally clean. This is how it worked for me: I felt like I was starting my love life anew with a fresh slate, ready to accept a new relationship once time had passed and I felt ready for it. But recently, as I’ve become more of a Bridget Jones-esque long-term singleton, I’ve started wondering what the long-term effects of splitting up a marriage or long-term relationship can be. I…

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Love + Dating

Happy Divorced Wedding Anniversary

January 12, 2016

It’s my wedding anniversary today. I never really know how to feel on this day, the 12th January, post-divorce. The first year I had a bit of a laugh about it with my ex. The second I forgot until three days later (standard anniversary behaviour, that). And on this one, the third, I feel quite thoughtful . In a broad sense, Divorce has chewed me up and spat me out quite dramatically. My life now is totally different to the…

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Single Life

The Christmas Custody Conundrum

December 17, 2015
Christmas custody

Tomorrow the kids go off to their dad’s for the weekend, as they do every fortnight. It used to be a time I really looked forward to, a time to re-calibrate my burned out engine, to catch up on sleep and friends. Those two nights I was guaranteed not to have a night of broken sleep were so precious and spending the weekend pleasing only myself was divine. But now, three years down the road it feels… different. I don’t…

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Single Life

Single Parent Positivity

November 18, 2015
single mums

I finally realised how under-represented single parents are in our society when I last upgraded my iPhone’s OS. The Emoji keyboard updates caused celebrations on Social Media because AT LAST! Alternative families were finally represented in teeny tiny cartoon form. Two mums and a child – brilliant! Gay fathers with boy and a girl babies – excellent! But where were the single parents? Despite a quarter of children in the UK being raised in one-parent families, according to my Emoji keyboard…

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Single Life

The Divorced Home

October 19, 2015
Chocolate Hux

Last night I told Hux off for ripping a page out of his book. He started crying, as you do when you’re a slightly guilty three year old, and buried his head in his pillow. He then sat up, looked and me and tearfully shouted “I want my daddy to take me home!”. Oof. I was heart-broken. My rational mind knows that he doesn’t know what he’s saying and that it was an outburst borne of upset and raw emotion…

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Single Life

The Divorce Digest

September 7, 2015

It’s a sad fact that my friends are starting to get divorced. I think I was a bit of an early adopter with the whole divorce thing, 27 being fairly young to even be married let alone separated, and as we start to move through our 30s it’s only natural that some long-term relationships begin to break down – statistically speaking it’s 42% of marriages (2012). When friends ask me what divorce is like I try and give helpful advice –…

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