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Love + Dating

Love + Dating

On Being Ghosted. Again.

May 10, 2017
ghosting

You guys, I’ve been ghosted again. I won’t lie, it’s been pretty crushing this time. I sensed it was coming from a week out with someone I’d been calling my boyfriend with trepidation: unanswered phone calls, monosyllabic text messages, all petering out until… nothing. Nothing but a huge empty canyon where the warm communication should have been. This time I completely missed the mark Funnily enough, I wasn’t upset because I missed the person I was in the relationship with. I…

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Love + Dating

Single Mum Dating: 4 Years On

March 15, 2017
4 years of dating

When I came to the dating scene four years ago after being in a long-term relationship, I was blindly optimistic. The number of dates I’d been on in my life had amounted to approximately six, with number six being with my ex-husband (and after we were ‘a couple’, so did it really count?); having spent my late teens being wooed over warm snakebite in the SU bar I was excited to live some kind of perceived single-woman Carrie Bradshaw dream. Except…

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Love + Dating

What I Learned About Love (By Getting a Divorce)

February 15, 2017
love lessons from divorce

When you get married at the age of 23 as I did, you think you know it all. About love, life, the universe… everything. I went into marriage thinking I was as grown up as I was going to get, blissfully unaware that one day it would fail, genuinely believing the wedding would fix all that I perceived was wrong with my life. Spoiler: it didn’t. If anything it magnified all the wrongs, highlighted the cracks, displayed the faults: like a…

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Love + Dating

Would You Throw a Divorce Party?

February 1, 2017

By design, divorce is altogether a negative thing. When a couple comes together in marriage and then splits at a later date, it’s usually a painful and difficult process. Have experienced it first-hand I can say that reneging on promises that enable you to be bound by law (and god, if that floats your boat) is not a great feeling. Was I distraught when I got divorced? No, not really. By then I’d been separated for two years, my ex-husband had…

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Love + Dating

The Trouble With Ghosting

January 10, 2017
ghosting

In the world of modern dating, you’re very lucky if you don’t encounter at least a certain amount of douchebaggery (technical term) at one point or another. I’ve had my fair share of weirdos and oddballs: the controlling men, the sexual deviants, the convicted criminals, the married ones. Looking back, my dating history is a veritable A-Z of ‘What Was I Thinking?’. But recently, I’ve noticed something new. Something I thought that, as a thirty-something woman dating men my age…

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Love + Dating

The Five Men You Don’t Want To Date

November 14, 2016

I like to think that my dating ‘adventures’ over the last four years have amounted to something of a public service. Kind of like, I’ll date the weirdos so you don’t have to. Or, in a couple of cases, I’ll pre-investigate the weirdos so you don’t have to. I think that’s been my biggest lesson over the last few years: going from being with the same man from the ages of 18 to 27 to the pure meat market that is the…

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Love + Dating

The 6 Month Man Drought

October 31, 2016

This year I took a 6 month break from men. Took a break from dating, I guess, more than actual men, but as my romantic interests lie in the male of the species it meant I had little contact with men who weren’t a) related to me, or b) work colleagues. It wasn’t a conscious decision, this cutting out of the men. It came after a string of bad dates and my unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings and I decided: enough.…

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Love + Dating

The 13 Stages of Tinder

August 10, 2016
13 stages of tinder

If you are single in 2016, there is a very good chance you’ve been on Tinder at least once. As I figure at my most positive, 26 million matches a day can’t be wrong…  and if you’re on Tinder, you’ll probably need to be at your most positive. I’ve been doing it off and on for the last two years. Though mostly off because let’s face it, there’s only so many hours and weirdos in the day – I have a…

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Love + Dating

My Real-World Dating Failure

July 12, 2016

Six months ago I closed all my online dating accounts. Tinder, Guardian Soulmates, Match.com, Bumble, Happn: they all went. They were draining time and of energy that I could have quite happily driven into other areas of my life. I mean, my online dating communications could clock in at almost two hours an evening. Imagine the size of the mountains I could move with that time! That’s my book written in a few months, or a successful PM campaign fought…

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Love + Dating

6 Times I Could Do With a Boyfriend

May 17, 2016

I came to the realisation a couple of days ago that, for the first time since my marriage ended three years ago, I’m really quite happy on my own. Don’t write me off just yet – I’m not about to buy a couple of cats and commit myself to a life of singledom – but I am increasingly enjoying my own company, let’s say, Carrie Bradshaw-style. Think: good job, great friends, lovely home, enough shoes. Sorted! It’s an overall feeling…

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Love + Dating

Recent Lessons In Online Dating

May 4, 2016

If you know ways to meet single men that do not involve a profile and 300 finely honed words about yourself, I take my hat off to you. Three years into the dating game and I’m still none the wiser: I’ve dated the only two friends-of-my friends who are single, joined a gym, gone to bars and struck up conversations in coffee shops. And I still don’t have a boyfriend. Nada, nothing. It’s been one of the greatest wonderments to me…

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