Me Pregnancy

Things People Think It Is OK To Say

April 10, 2012

 

Today has been hard. One of those legitimate pregnancy days where I have wanted to stick my head in the oven, only I can’t as the bright orange non-organic fish fingers for Elfie’s tea won’t cook properly in the microwave. I was up all night with painful Braxton Hicks, my lower back hurts and the pain now extends down my right leg, I’m being punched from the inside by one baby and have a toddler on the outside who has just discovered biting and am feeling downright miserable. In my rational mind I do know that this will all pass and tomorrow is a new day but I have so much I need to do with my few remaining newborn-free days: feeling like crap was not one of the things on the to-do list. I’d like to thank Peppa Pig for coming into our lives at this time as Elfie is transfixed by that freaky talking snouty thing and for once I am quite happy that the TV is taking mummy’s place for an hour.

So in the spirit of being a misery guts I thought I’d compile a list of things people think it is OK to say to pregnant women. Luckily I am extremely gifted at gritting my teeth and smiling at strangers, otherwise I’m sure I would’ve been accused of GBH by now.

– Oh, it’s definitely a boy, I can tell. I have a knack for these sorts of things.
– Was it planned?
– You’re not pregnant!
– How long to go now?
– You look tired.
– You’re having a girl, aren’t you? I can tell by the way you’re carrying/the colour of your eyes/the smell of your farts.
– Oh wow… you’re brave.
– Can I touch?
– You poor thing, you look exhausted.
– Do you plan on having a natural birth/breastfeeding/circumcising/homeschooling?
– You look like you’re about to pop.
– Eating for two?

Thank god for the sweet old lady who was the only stranger who spoke to me today; she commented on Elfie’s hairband. Had she said anything about pregnancy it would have tipped me over the edge.

The above photos were from this weekend. We had a lovely time with lots of family members and I definitely didn’t want to kill anyone. 

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19 Comments

  • Reply Hannah April 11, 2012 at 8:41 am

    This week I have had my first two ‘you’re HUGE!’ comments. Doesn’t offend me or anything, but seriously, I do have a small bump, that is ‘correct for dates’, thanks. Have they ever seen a really big one?!

    Then of course there was yesterday’s ‘So are you going to be a working mum or a proper mum?’ comment. Thankfully from someone I don’t really know and will probably never see again.

    • Reply alice April 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm

      Oh my god, a working mum or a ‘proper’ mum… argh!!

  • Reply Muddling Along April 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    I’m not sure when it was agreed that you become public property when you become pregnant but I’m fairly certain I didn’t sign up for that bit of it…

    Very familiar though

    Hang on in there xxx

    • Reply alice April 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

      People definitely lose their decency filter when they come across a pregnant woman! xx

  • Reply Joanna April 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I am starting to get annoyed with people keep commenting on how big I am (which I don’t think is ‘that big’ to be frank). It’s the same people at work / husbands friends who see me on a regular basis and still feel the need to say ‘wow, you’re getting big’ every time – Yes thank you, it’s what happens when you’re pregnant. I think it’s because they feel the need to comment but don’t know what to say. My mother always told me ‘if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!’
    .. perhaps I’m just grumpy today?

    • Reply alice April 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      not grumpy, I quite agree with you!

  • Reply The Daily Mum April 11, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    My pregnancy this time round has caused me much physical discomfort too. Maybe because it’s the third one.
    Such a coincidence to read your post as I blogged – more like moaned – about the very same thing.
    http://thedailymum.co.uk/?p=1180

    Strangers touching, or asking to touch, the bump is the worst for me!

    • Reply alice April 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      Luckily I’ve only had 2 strangers touch the bump this time around!

  • Reply Kara April 11, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    The smell of your farts. HA! You saw my post about what crazy things people have been saying to me. Drives me bonkers. :)

    Hoping you feel better soon!

  • Reply Amy Metcalf April 12, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I’ve so far been called lumpy, the large one (by mother in law) and also had someone comment saying that I don’t really know if I’m adding baby or if it’s me that’s just having extra added! Work colleague the other day said I looked tired..I refrained from commenting that she looks old and haggard…then another colleague asked if I was grumpy for no actual reason as I hadn’t actually spoken to her in weeks!

    Serious rage brewing and will be glad when 1st June arrives so I can finish work!

    Hope you’re feeling okay :) xx

  • Reply Amy Metcalf April 12, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Oh! And someone said that they thought I was having a boy just by looking at me and my husband – 2 sonographers have said I’m having a girl..!xx

    • Reply alice April 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

      I HATE THIS! I want to say “yes, stranger on the street, of course you know better from looking at the outside of my stomach than the trained sonographer with 12 years experience”. Argh!

      • Reply Amy Metcalf April 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

        I even had one person look at my sonogram and tell me that the sonographer was wrong and it was a boy because she’d “seen loads of scans like this” WTF?!

  • Reply Alice Treherne April 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    People always felt the need to comment on the size of my boobs when I was pregnant – really annoying and totally inappropriate! Then when Willow was born, I got so mad because right from day dot every single person would ask, “how is she sleeping”, to which I replied, “like a newborn” i.e wakes up all the way through the fricking night – thanks for reminding me. Oh and my father in law called me the ‘cow in the corner’ in relation to breastfeeding. People are GREAT.

    • Reply alice April 12, 2012 at 7:18 pm

      OMG at your father in law. People should really just learn to shut the hell up when it comes to pregnant women. It’s very rare they actually say the RIGHT thing.

  • Reply Gill Crawshaw April 16, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Agree on all of these, it’s really annoying isn’t it? The worst one I had was ‘were you trying?’ – wrong on so many levels! x

    • Reply alice April 17, 2012 at 9:50 pm

      YES!

      Also, it’s funny how many people, on hearing the news of our pregnancy, have shook Will’s hand and said something along the lines of ‘nice work’. Being congratulated for having sex makes me feel uncomfortable! x

  • Reply Kelly April 29, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Oh I am a bit late commenting on this but I hated this bit of being pregnant. I even wrote about it too http://youfoundkelshidingplace.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/rant.html

    Nearly there now though and then you will be asked repeatedly if the baby sleeps, and you will have a whole new list of things to rage at :)

  • Reply Gem July 18, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    This really made me laugh because I am only 13 weeks and have been having similar comments already about how pale or tired I look. I made the mistake of telling people that I have suffered from horrendous nausea for 3 weeks. Bless them, I know they are all trying to be nice but I really didn’t need to hear about what made them sick, the frequency of it and the fact that it lasted 8 months for some.

    A real corker of a comment happened to someone else who I worked with. She brought her new baby in to the office for us to all coo over and one women looked at the baby and said ‘ooo there’s no need to do a paternity test on this one, you can tell who the father is just by looking at it’. What a delightful thing to say.

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