The main purpose of this blog has always been to record our lives with Elfie. Having kept various diaries since the age of about 10, I find it so valuable to look back on life having recorded my thoughts and feelings and the resulting memories are priceless.

But then life has got in the way a little bit recently; it’s easy to blog about myself rather than my number one girl (sorry Elfie, your mama has always enjoyed being the centre of attention and this probably won’t change) and I’ve so enjoyed writing my recipes and general musings.

So let’s take it back and look at my little girl.

Elfie is now fifteen months and thirteen days old. She is such a happy little character, she rarely has a grumpy mood and only gets iffy when tired or hungry. Every time we leave the house she beams and waves at everyone, so trips to the shops, restaurants and supermarkets are always a pleasure. It upsets me a little when people don’t wave back (teenage boys and older men are the main culprits) and is makes me so happy that her smiling face gives people joy, they love to stop and chat to her.

We’re teething which is hard in patches but she takes it in her stride. The best remedy we’ve found is an amber necklace, I often am terrified I will forget to take it off when she goes to bed but it seems to give most relief. Aside from waving, her other favourite thing to do is pointing (a bit embarrassing when she points at people) and she’s always making an inquisitive little “eh?” noise when she does it. Favourite things to point at: trees, lights, cats, people.

She’s not walking yet which is fine by me, she will cruise along the furniture but has no interest in walking with no support. Water is the best: she loves to go swimming and her favourite game is tipping her beaker on the floor and playing with the resulting mess. She’s been ‘helping’ me clean the new house recently, and by ‘helping’ I mean ‘stick her hands in my buckets of dirty water and squeeze a sponge over herself and then try to eat bleach’. Bathtime is her favourite time of day and she will stand and watch the bath being filled while we undress her – she’s always so desperate to get in.

Elfie can’t say any words apart from ‘Dada’ and ‘eh’ but she understands a lot. She knows where her head, hair, nose, ears, tummy, and toes are, she knows what noise a dog, cat, tigger, pig and fish (?) makes, she can bring her different books to you on demand (‘That’s not my donkey’ and ‘Spot’ are her favourites) and she knows food/drink/milk/more/up/sit down/kiss/cuddle. She knows who dada, mama, grannie and grumpy are, and pretends not to know what ‘no’ means. But then again, so do I.

Other favourite household games: pushing buttons on the washing machine and printer, closing and opening cupboard doors, blowing raspberries, trying to put on clothes and anything to do with an iPhone or MacBook Pro.

Today I was reminded again of what a special little soldier Elfie is. She was up all last night crying and then was not herself this morning. She scared me by going all snuggly and weak (very unlike her), was a bit moany and then fell asleep in my arms as soon as I’d got her up, which is usually her brightest time of day. I gave her a double dose of  her medicine, paracetamol and milk, took her temperature (normal) and cuddled her back off to sleep, worrying about whether or not to call the hospital or do an ankle prick to check her blood sugars. I let her snooze for a while and a couple of hours later she was as right as rain but it was terrifying. I can’t wait until she can speak and articulate to us what hurts or how she’s feeling, I think that will take a lot of the worry away.

Since we found out I was pregnant with number two I have had a lot of guilt and I need to keep reminding myself that everyone goes through it: how am I going to devote time to two babies? What if I don’t love the next one as much as Elfie? I even feel guilt for the foetus, when I was last pregnant I spent every spare second on BabyCentre – reading about the stage we were at, what to expect next, how other women were feeling. This time I’m struggling to remember how many weeks I am right now (I have it scheduled in iCal for this purpose) and the time is absolutely flying. The exhaustion has been so horrendous that Elfie’s spending a lot more time than usual with her grandma, we don’t go swimming at the moment and I can’t remember our last mama and daughter lunch date. I miss her, I can’t wait to return to normality and have to keep reminding myself that although it’s hard now and will be for the foorseable future, the closeness in age between Elfie and her new sibling will be worth it.

Above all, I have never been happier than I am with my life right now. I’ve never had less sleep ever, which has been horrifying at times, but it’s so true that children make life so much lighter.

Little 15 month Elf, I love you.